Not So Sure About Love
by skittery's bad mood
Summary: Blink can't turn back the clock, he can't erase what he has done. All he can do is wait...Possible Slash BlinkMush!


Disclaimer- I do not own newsies.

A/N- This is a reply to the Newsie challenge number 8! I hope you all like it!

"Sometimes, I'm not so sure about love," Blink shook his head and crumbled up yet another piece of paper. He stretched his arms out, leaning back in his desk chair. He looked at the clock hanging on the opposite wall of him, it read one thirty am. He sighed, grumbled something and then threw the unworthy piece of paper into the already overflowing waste basket with the other in completed letters.

He put his face in his hands and sighed, "What am I going to do?" he asked himself out loud. His desk lamp flickered for a moment, telling him it needed a rest now, having been on since nine. He ignored it and looked over at his sleeping roommate, Spot. He was curled up on his bed, blankets thrown all around him, and one leg hanging off of the mattress, as if he had just come home from a late night party and collapsed onto the bed, which he probably did, Blink reminded himself.

Blink shook his head; Spot couldn't help him with this, he wasn't really the type of guy who was, well, liked to share his emotions, or feelings. To tell the truth, if it didn't have anything with someone getting hurt badly, or lots of violence, he could care less. But that was just the kind of guy Spot was.

Blink turned his attention back to the desk, where a clean sheet of paper already lay, ready for him. He picked up his paper and wrote down a few words: _dear Mush._

Instantly he crumbled up the paper and tossed it over his shoulder. That had sounded stupid; he couldn't just write Dear Mush.

Blink kicked the desk leg, causing it to shake a bit, knocking the phone off of the hook. Blink looked down on the floor where the phone lay, beeping at him. He smiled and picked it up, dialed a few numbers and waited.

Skittery had always told him that if he ever needed to talk, he could call. So Blink sat there while the line rang, once, twice, three times. He was about to give up, when he suddenly heard Snoddy's voice come over on the other end. It was deep and tired sounding.

"Hello?" Snoddy said quietly. He coughed, making his voice less scratchy.

"Hey, Snoddy, is Skittery there by any chance?" Blink asked. He began to feel a bit guilty for waking up one of his best friends.

"Blink? What are you doing up so...early?" Blink heard Snoddy give a yawn.

"I wanted to talk to Skittery before class today, is he there?" Skittery checked his watch once more; he only had nine more hours to get this letter right.

"Yeah hold on," Blink listened as Snoddy put the phone down to wake up Skittery. He could hear the two in the background.

"Skittery, wake up man, Blink's on the phone." Snoddy said. Blink heard a few grunts and then Snoddy pleading again. After a few moments of this, Skittery yelled that he was up and stomped over to the phone. Blink didn't know anyone could be that loud on a carpet floor.

"Hello?" Skittery more like demanded than asked.

"Hey, Skittery, it's me Blink."

"Why are you calling me so late?" Skittery asked, he still sounded half asleep.

"I, uh," Blink thought about what he should say, "I need some advice."

Skittery then sounded plenty awake, "Advice? On a certain girl perhaps?" he laughed quietly at his own joke, which Blink didn't really think it was a joke, but oh well.

Blink bit his lip, "sort of. I just can't tell this person how I feel."

"Uh huh and how do you feel?" Skittery asked on the other end of the phone.

"I don't know, I mean, I have known this person my whole life, and we have been best friends, and, well, I am not exactly sure if I want that to change."

Skittery stayed silent. He was either listening for more, or he had fallen back asleep, Blink continued, "When I am with this person, I get this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach, and I like it, so I think it is good, but—"

"You don't want this thing to change between you two," Skittery said finishing up Blink's sentence.

"Exactly," Blink tapped his pencil on the clean piece of paper in front of him, making small black specs on the surface.

Skittery sighed and stayed quiet for a moment before continuing, "I think you just need to be honest with this person, tell them how you really feel, and you defiantly have to make up your mind about your feelings first. If you really do like this person a lot then you should consider telling them how you feel, you never know, they could feel the same way you do."

Blink nodded, "maybe you're right, hey, thanks Skitts." He smiled.

"No problem, just one thing Blink, never call me again before the sun comes up."

Blink laughed, "all right then, I promise." He hung up the phone and turned back to his paper. This was going to be a long day. Spot turned over in his sleep as Blink began writing:

_Mush,_

_Listen pal, we have been best friends ever since we even knew what best friends were. And I never ever want that to change, you mean a lot to me. You're like the brother I never had. Anyways, lately, I have been thinking about us, and I think that I really actually do care about you. A lot. Like, more than a friend. I just can't hide the way I feel anymore, I have felt this way for a very long time. And I am really sorry if I am freaking you out. I just wanted to get it off my chest. And if you don't feel the same way, I totally understand, I just, wanted to let you know, and I am sorry if I am creeping you out. Please don't hate me; you're the greatest friend I ever had, so don't get mad at me, ok? I just thought I should be honest with you. So, if you could come over later today, maybe around five, I would like to talk to you. If that's alright._

_Blink_

Blink looked over his finished copy. It wasn't the best, but if Mush did some over later that day, maybe he could tell him better than he had written it. He folded up the letter, put it into an envelope, and looked at the clock. Seven ten am. Mush always got up at seven thirty, and left for class at eight thirty, so he had some time.

Grabbing his shoes he ran out the door, forgetting to close it behind him. He took the steps of the dorm halls two at a time as he made his way down to the second level. The hall was still quiet. Blink looked at the numbers neatly painted on the doors, he knew Mush and Snitch's room was 309, and he was at 289, Racetrack and Jack's dorm room.

He made his way quickly yet quietly down the hall looking at each number carefully. It wasn't as though Blink hadn't been to their room tons of time's before, but he just wanted to make sure he didn't screw this up like he tended to do on important things like this.

309. Blink let out a sigh of relief he had been holding in. He could hear a bit of movement inside of the room and figured one of the boy's was getting up. He looked at the letter, held securely in his hand, and then slid it under the door. He then sprinted back up to his room, almost barely knocking Itey down the stairs to certain death.

Blink paced back and forth in his room. He looked at the clock once more, five thirty pm; three minutes had passed since he last looked at it. He unfolded and then refolded his hands and cracked his knuckles nervously.

"Maybe he isn't coming," Spot muttered from where he sat on the desk chair also staring at the door.

Blink stopped, glared at Spot and then sat down on his own bed, "do you mind, Spot?" he asked.

Spot yawned and looked at his watch, "you're right, I don't want to sit here and watch you two sort out your love issues anyways, that is, if he comes. I am going out, maybe some kind of party has started on the fifth floor." He grabbed his coat and gave Blink one last look before leaving.

Blink fell back onto his pillow. He probably did freak Mush out, and now he didn't want to see him anymore. How could he have been so stupid? He cursed himself.

Just then, there was a knock at the door. Blink jumped up and grabbed the door knob, thrusting it open. His face fell, Spot stood there laughing so hard he had to grab onto the wall for support.

"You should have seen you face!" He managed to get out between laughs. He wiped at his eyes.

"Thank you, Spot; I will remember that next time you want to have Racetrack over." Blink said sarcastically and then slammed the door in Spot's bewildered face.

He made his way back to his bed and fell down onto it again. He hated his life. Why did he have to have this feeling for Mush? It wasn't right! Maybe he could tell Mush he was joking about the whole thing and he really didn't mean any of it. Who was he kidding? That was stupid.

There was a knock at the door again. Blink groaned and trudged over to answer it, if it was Spot again, he would kill him. He threw open the door and was about to tell Spot off again, when he realized that Mush was standing in front of him.

"Mush?" Blink asked, lowering his fist that he hadn't realized he had raised.

"It's me," Mush smiled.

Blink just stood there staring at him in disbelief. He had actually come! Why? "Uh, can I come in?" Blink shook himself back to reality.

"Yeah, of course, sorry about that," He stepped out of the way to let Mush inside, "I thought you were Spot at first pulling a prank on me." He smiled and closed the door.

"I would have been here sooner, but my boss wanted me to stay in a bit late." Mush said taking off his jacket and putting onto Spot's bed.

"That's fine; I was just hanging out here, just...waiting." Blink cracked his knuckles again, something he did when he was nervous.

"So, I got your letter." Mush said quietly and pulled it out of his pocket, he went slightly red.

Blink looked down at his feet and felt himself turn a deep blood red he was sure, "yeah," was all he could get out.

"I'm not freaked out or anything," Mush added hastily.

Blink looked up, "really?" he asked.

Mush nodded, "I, uh, actually wanted to talk to you about this for a long time too."

Blink's mouth went dry, "well, I, uh, ordered a pizza, do you want to talk about it over dinner?" He stuttered a bit over some of his words.

"Yeah, that would be great," Mush grinned.

They sat in silence for ten minutes before finally; there was a knock at the door.

A/N- Sorry I did not end with the exact line I was supposed to, but I don't think that they have doorbells in college dorms, and also, sorry if it was way cheesy, just old SPECS here trying to make a living. Anyways, please R&R if you liked it! SPECS- ½ of SBM.


End file.
